Wishes

March 3rd, 2008 , 10:37 am

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a
Genie’s lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it & a Genie appeared. The amazed woman
asked if she was entitled to three wishes.

The Genie said “No. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low
wages in third world countries & fierce global competition, I can
only grant you one wish. So what’ll it be?”

The woman didn’t hesitate. She said “I want peace in the Middle
East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with
each other.”

The Genie looked at the map & exclaimed “Gadzooks, lady! These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but
not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”

The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been
able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and
fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in
bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the
time and is faithful. That’s what I wish for.”

The Genie let out a long sigh & said,

“Let me see that ****in’ map!”

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Wal-Mart Refund

March 3rd, 2008 , 10:07 am


A woman went to a WalMart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it wouldn’t work. The clerk told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up-up in the air and started screaming,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks, “Ma’am what’s wrong?”

She explains the problem with the toaster, and he also tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screams,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!

Which begins to draw an even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads, “Ma’am, why are you saying that?”n a huff, the woman says, BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I’M BEING SCREWED!!” he crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!

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